I'm not going to be a very patient pregnant lady. I mean, I'm not a very patient anything lady, but I'm pretty sure word is going to go around at work that Jenny's always very crabby and shouldn't be asked about her pregnancy. This will suit me fine. "How are you doing?" people ask me (a lot of people at work know, since I mentioned it to my boss's boss and she told a bunch of other people--I also told my department, but it's a small department and I don't think they found it a topic of much fascination). I say I'm fine, or I'm fine except for a cold, or I'm busy, or whatever. "But how are you feeling?" they say, with extra meaning, and I suppose they want me to talk about my morning sickness, or my cravings, or my ill-fitting pants, or maybe my headaches and constipation and backaches (for the record, I don’t have any of those things other than the pants, though it depends on the pair).
If it's early in the day and I'm in a good mood I'll indulge them by saying "Better now that I'm out of the first trimester." If it's later in the day or I've just dealt with a customer who's upset because I failed to thoroughly read his mind, I say I'm fine. If they press, saying, "Baby growing all right?" I say, "As far as I know, though it could be dead for all I can tell." (Okay, I only said that the once, and she was so shocked I was immediately sorry I'd said it.)
I don't want to talk about my pregnancy at work. I feel basically fine, so there's not a lot to talk about, and there are always pregnant women in the company and I've heard some of them talk incessantly about how they feel and what they think and it bores me, and I don't want to bore people. And if I say I'm fine, you don't get to second-guess me unless you're my parent or my husband.
Not a patient pregnant lady. Don't even think about the belly-rubbing bit.